Super Fetus by Adam Pepper
Author:Adam Pepper [Pepper, Adam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-01-19T12:46:44.760000+00:00
SEVEN
e
One. Two. Three. Four.
Two. Two. Three. Four.
Three. Two. Three. Four.
Four. Two. Three. Four.
Come on! Three more sets!
Gotta keep pushing. Super Fetus needs to stay in shape.
No rest for the weary. That means you too, Mommy. “Sue Ellen, would you sit still!” I hear the man say. “I
can’t sleep with you tossing and turning like that all the time.” “Well, how do you think I feel? This baby is bouncing
around like a Puerto Rican jumping bean.”
Sorry, Mommy. Nothing personal. Super Fetus gotta
stay in shape. It’s a matter of survival.
“Okay, honey,” the man says, his tone becoming all
sweet and soft. “About this baby…”
“What about it?”
“Let’s have it.”
Atta boy, Cleve. Talk some sense into her.
“No.”
“Come on, Sue Ellen. I can afford it.”
“Money ain’t got a damn thing to do with things.” “Well, what is it, then?”
“I can’t deal with another child. I have three kids. I
am done.”
“Sue Ellen, I don’t have any kids.”
“You have mine.”
“Come on. You know I love yer kids, but it’s just not
the same. Heck, I’m a lot older than you, Sue Ellen. This
could be my last chance.”
“I’m sorry, Cleve. I’m meeting Dr. Kurtsworth in the
morning to take care of this, once and for all.”
“Fine!”
No sleep for me. Like a soldier in enemy territory, I
gotta keep one eye open at all times. You never know when
that doctor and that bitch Mommy might try something.
In the morning, huh? Okay, Mommy. Super Fetus will be
ready!
One. Two. Three. Four.
Two. Two. Three. Four.
“Ooooo, my tummy,” Mommy groans.
Three. Two. Three. Four. Push it! Push it! Gotta be
stronger than that putz of a doctor.
“Sue Ellen, I gotta be up for work in three hours. Could
ya please stop hoggin’ up all the pillows?”
“Here!” she says as she throws a pillow at him. Four. Two. Three. Four. Don’t worry, Mommy. Just
two more sets.
“Dammit, I wish this baby’d sit still.”
One. Two. Three. Four…
e
“Okay, Sue Ellen, now just relax while Dr. Ng runs an IV.”
It’s that freakin’doctor talking. My blood is just boiling from the sound of his voice…or is it just from all the nice warm fluid in here? Ah, no matter. Point is he is pissing me off. I know what he is up to.
And this time, I am ready!
“Please, Dr. Kurtsworth, just get this over with. I need this taken care of so I can put this entire miserable experience behind me.”
Damn Mommy, you sure do know how to make a kid feel all warm and tingly inside.
“Don’t worry, Sue Ellen. I will have you in and out of here in no time. Just lie back and relax. Nurse, the speculum.”
Damn! There’s that breeze again.
“Now the tenaculum.”
Ouch! Fuckin’ ay, Doc. Give me some room in here. Quit crowding me.
“What’s that, Doctor?”
“Don’t panic, Sue Ellen. It’s just to help dilate things. Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“You seem a bit too coherent, Sue Ellen. The anesthesia should have you just on the verge of falling under.”
“I’m fine, Dr. Kurtsworth. Just do the job.”
“No, I’d better call Dr. Ng back in here to give you a little more.”
“No! Just kill the fuckin’ thing.
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne(18700)
Cat's cradle by Kurt Vonnegut(14757)
The Break by Marian Keyes(9075)
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan(8886)
A Man Called Ove: A Novel by Fredrik Backman(8181)
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes(6234)
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion(5832)
Beartown by Fredrik Backman(5350)
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman(5085)
A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke(5076)
Beach Read by Emily Henry(4980)
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren(4651)
Audition by Ryu Murakami(4611)
China Rich Girlfriend by Kwan Kevin(4287)
Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan(4123)
Ayesha At Last by Uzma Jalaluddin(3999)
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore(3299)
Hardcore Twenty-Four by Janet Evanovich(3229)
The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion(3202)
